....Until.....

Until....I spoke to this other friend of mine....
I soon realized, what I think is not what everyone else thinks!! And with conviction I wish to believe that whatever I think, is what others will understand.....I was proved wrong...

This whole process started with harmless confrontation and ended up in introspection and realzing "The Self"....and not to mention.... to come to terms with "Reality".
Naive as I was, when I thought, only when you blatantly insult someone in any form, would that be considered rude....Apparently not!
Being emotionally repressed, Not always engaging in (inane) conversations, or probably not sayin a "HI", with a bright chirpy smile, to every singly person in the room.... also fall under the same category..."rude....obnoxious....stuck up".

As the conversation progressed, I tried taking my defensive stance, and only with time I realized, my efforts would be futile!
*As hard as it is for me to show "affection" it would be equally hard for someothers to comprehend the need for space.
*As hard as it is for me to understand the resistance to confrontation...equally hard would it be for someothers to understand "bluntness".
*As hard as it is for me to comprehend juvenile back biting....equally hard would it be for someothers to refrain from doing so.
*As hard as it is for me to trust people..equally hard would it be for others to provide the benefit of doubt.

I believe I live in a world free of judgements, but I'm clearly wrong, for a "message" that reached through word of mouth, had a far greater impact, than when the "message" was proved otherwise.

So now the revelation process began...I was asked to make an effort to change...."If I cared"... Now the question boils down to......."Do I always potray an indifferent attitude towards people?" If the answer is YES, then I sure am in BIG trouble! Why???? "I can't change"....WHY???
"It's convenient..." WHY?? "I do it unconsciously"..WHY??? "I wish I knew"!!!!
It suddenly occurred to me that, even though I might need to change, I refrain from making that effort! I would rather become a social recluse, retreat in my own little cocoon, but NOT change!!! This could be read as me being "Stubborn"...but truth speaks....WHO ISNT????.

Now is when the "Benefit of doubt" factor could come to play.... what if.....what if.... I am just NOT comfortable being any other way than the way I have been all my life!!!!!!!!!

Introspection indeed created a mild turmoil in my head....as my friend once said " I have a sandstorm in my head"...I never understood the strength of that statement..until NOW!

But philosophy speaks, or so I think...."Life moves on"............"and so should I"....

Madness!

My friend spoke about Madness and Creativity in class today..... and just yesterday I had finished composing a song...and I was extremely proud of what I did....
It now makes me wonder, if what I did was actually a product of creativity... what really went through my mind to create something new, which till now people did not find any fault with.
Assuming that it is a creative piece of "art"...... am I "Mad"???
Is my thought process not conducive to what is expected from the "Real World"??
I thought not.....Until...................