I believe an Indian experience is incomplete without being subject to the always eventful rides by our very own infamous auto men! I have been travelling by auto ever since I was 15 years old or perhaps even younger.. and believe me there is so much I've learnt from these little trips. Apart from analyzing behaviour in the form of case studies, I think dealing with these auto drivers, be it haggling for a better price or fighting with them for taking the longer route (when the metre is on) there is so much we can learn from them. Most importantly I believe its the sheer confidence and the perseverance that these men ooze when they are talking to a man, a woman, a girl, a child or even an elderly. Here are my top ten reasons that these VERY creative, overly enthusiastic and perhaps a tad greedy men have said with regard to the auto fare.
10) "Madam idu one way, rhomba souti ponnum"
The very famous and slightly over played " One way madam".
They talk as though we DONT know the city routes, even if we try giving them the NON one way direction, they seem so certain that it is a one way.
9) "Night time madam, konjam paatu podunga"
The next one - " Night time madam"
Ofcourse if we are travelling at 11 pm, it is night time, but since when did 6.30 - 7.00 pm become night time?!
8) "Rohmba ulllllllllai ponnum, pattu rooba pottu kudunga"
This is something I quite often come across - " You have to go innnnnnnnside (he stresses on that) madam"
Fine, we might give the building and apartment name, but going 10 metres inside seriously does not cost us 10 rs more, now does it.
7) "Madam petrol vellai yerrirku, ongallaku onnum teriyaadu"
The inflation rate in our country seems to increase EVERYDAY - " Madam petrol prices have gone up, you dont know anything".
Do they really go up EVERYDAY??? or every second hour?!
6) "Ayyo Baiyangram Traffic Jaam aa irruke, 20 rs extra kudunge"
This is my personal favourite - "Traffic jam madam"
Yeah, so I'll be the one getting late, why should I pay him extra for me getting late?!
5) "Distance rhomba short, neengai pattu rooba kudunge"
And of course we have the lazy ones who say " Madam, give me 10 rs extra, distance is too short".
So I will give the minimum rate, why pay for being a sloth!
4) "Yenna madam, chumma pattu roobai paakaadeengai"
Reasonless - "Madam dont see 10 rs".
They don't tell us why they want the extra 10 rs, they just dont want us to 'see' it.
3) "Epdi mazhai peyaradu, auto azhikayidum, neengai kudunge"
Rain or snow - our men want more " Rain madam, the auto will get dirty"
Ok then clean your auto! You do that every day dont you.
2) " setpet(Chetpet) breej (bridge) yeeeeri errangi, inoooru breej yerranume"
My all time favourite, auto drivers hate working out - " Madam, we have to go over two flyovers".
I am very sorry that the city has imposed such a huge burden on them.
1) "Madam, night time le lightu podanum, petrol appo use aavum illai,konjam apadiye potu kundunge, ongalku ennai"
This one is priceless - "Madam, night time, I have to switch on head lights, that will consume more petrol, what for you".
ok SERIOUSLY now :)
The very famous and slightly over played " One way madam".
They talk as though we DONT know the city routes, even if we try giving them the NON one way direction, they seem so certain that it is a one way.
9) "Night time madam, konjam paatu podunga"
The next one - " Night time madam"
Ofcourse if we are travelling at 11 pm, it is night time, but since when did 6.30 - 7.00 pm become night time?!
8) "Rohmba ulllllllllai ponnum, pattu rooba pottu kudunga"
This is something I quite often come across - " You have to go innnnnnnnside (he stresses on that) madam"
Fine, we might give the building and apartment name, but going 10 metres inside seriously does not cost us 10 rs more, now does it.
7) "Madam petrol vellai yerrirku, ongallaku onnum teriyaadu"
The inflation rate in our country seems to increase EVERYDAY - " Madam petrol prices have gone up, you dont know anything".
Do they really go up EVERYDAY??? or every second hour?!
6) "Ayyo Baiyangram Traffic Jaam aa irruke, 20 rs extra kudunge"
This is my personal favourite - "Traffic jam madam"
Yeah, so I'll be the one getting late, why should I pay him extra for me getting late?!
5) "Distance rhomba short, neengai pattu rooba kudunge"
And of course we have the lazy ones who say " Madam, give me 10 rs extra, distance is too short".
So I will give the minimum rate, why pay for being a sloth!
4) "Yenna madam, chumma pattu roobai paakaadeengai"
Reasonless - "Madam dont see 10 rs".
They don't tell us why they want the extra 10 rs, they just dont want us to 'see' it.
3) "Epdi mazhai peyaradu, auto azhikayidum, neengai kudunge"
Rain or snow - our men want more " Rain madam, the auto will get dirty"
Ok then clean your auto! You do that every day dont you.
2) " setpet(Chetpet) breej (bridge) yeeeeri errangi, inoooru breej yerranume"
My all time favourite, auto drivers hate working out - " Madam, we have to go over two flyovers".
I am very sorry that the city has imposed such a huge burden on them.
1) "Madam, night time le lightu podanum, petrol appo use aavum illai,konjam apadiye potu kundunge, ongalku ennai"
This one is priceless - "Madam, night time, I have to switch on head lights, that will consume more petrol, what for you".
ok SERIOUSLY now :)
*special mention* - "Madam, savaari kadai kaadu" - "Madam, I wont get anyone who would want to use my auto services"
Oh well, it might seem a little harsh, but we are victims! And of course there a few genuinely nice ones, who probably try making conversation and call us their "sisters" and sometimes ask for lesser than it actually is! But never a day has gone by, when I have not heard one of these reasons! And I must admit they are getting BETTER by the day.
